Blue Valentine (2010): Cursed & Broken

                                         

“I don't know. I feel like I should just stop... You know, just stop thinking about it, but I can't. Maybe I've seen too many movies, you know, love at first sight. What do you think about love at first sight? You think you could love somebody by just looking at them? But the thing is, man, I felt like I knew her”

I believe that love is one of the most complex concepts to explain regarding human nature. Being with someone, finding joy with someone, hugging someone, kissing someone, loving someone… Love is complicated and, a relationship has its ups and downs, but what happens when love is not enough? What happens when two people stop loving each other?

Blue Valentine (2010) is a romantic/drama movie directed by Derek Cianfrance, starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. This film shows the life of Dean (Gosling) and Cindy (Williams) in their troubled marriage and the early days in their relationship.

                                      

BV is a sad and tragic film because it goes deep into what a toxic relationship is. I feel like it criticizes romantic stories and films at some level, since Cianfrance depicts a beautiful beginning in our protagonists’ relationship. The usual romance we see on screen in which a nice guy wants to get the girl, and eventually does; however, as we look further into Dean’s personality and acts, we realize that despite being a charming, funny, and hard-working man, he is a manipulative and awful human being. I feel pity for Cindy, because she goes through a lot, but she is also a strong woman for facing all those tribulations. I don’t think I can hate or criticize the character regarding her actions in the film.

Regarding Dean I can say I feel sorry for him, because he just wants to be loved by Cindy, but his behavior is so self-destructive that he hurts the ones he loves the most. He is selfish and thinks that Cindy owns him for being with her. He expects many things for being a good person, but a good person should not receive a reward for doing good deeds. You act righteous because that’s what is right, not because someone is going to give you something in return. Dean represents a toxic male, a man who manipulates a woman to get what he wants, a man who, through his “nice guy” act, expects to win a “prize” (love, sex, women) every time and does not know how to act differently. People change, and sometimes people don’t. He doesn’t.

                                         

Being married and raising a child are not easy things, even more so in a marriage that is in a downward spiral such as Cindy and Dean’s. As we get older problems increase, and sometimes we become more bitter and cynical, and this movie slaps us in the face by showing a realistic approach in how depressing and bitter a relationship can get, to the point in which even seeing the other person’s face makes you feel ill and enraged. The disaffection in Dean and Michelle’s marriage is hard to watch. It’s hard to watch a woman suffer for a bad man, it’s hard to watch a man struggle with his own demons, it’s hard to watch a child live in a broken home, and it’s hard to watch something that should have been perfect fall into pieces. 

                                       

There are many moments in the film that are haunting, beautiful and disturbing: The cute moments in their early days (the songs, the romance, the love…), the problems Cindy and Dean face together, the drama and the conversations they have (the motel) and the imminent end of something that can never be repaired. Loving someone is difficult, and loving someone who is not the right one is a damaging act that can leave a scar so deep that it can last a lifetime.

Blue Valentine is a remarkable film with a script, acting, images and cinematography that are absolutely solid, and that with its themes about the nature of love hits us with a dose of reality that sometimes is needed in a world of fictional happy endings and perfect couples.